Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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