So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
