planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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