just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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