If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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