My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
