I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
