she was so not down for the gang bang
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
