just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
