Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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