a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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