Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
