i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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