Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
