she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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