he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
40s are totally the cure
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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