how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
