the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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