I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i love accidental penises.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
