I think I just saw someone hide a body.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
