im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
