Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
