hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
