I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
