we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize