If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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