Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
