Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
