wanna go halves on a baby?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
