i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
