holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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