wrigley field is MILF paradise
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
