I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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