Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
