I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
