i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
