I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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