didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
