then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
