Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
