Do you still have your period?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
