some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
