and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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