my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
When did angry sex become our thing?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
