Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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