So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
