I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
