Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Randomize
