Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
