her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
