we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
