Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
