don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I want to make a zoo with you.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
