You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
People in love make me want to vomit
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
